Run With Your Dreams

In English 61, we read a "Tuff-Stuff" story about a young woman who was abused and beaten by her boyfriend, but she did everything she could to make the relationship work.  It was her first love, or that's what she thought. After reading her story, Mr Lewenstein asked us to develop a "Tuff-Stuff" narrative of our own.  We began writing about a difficult challenge we've seen or experienced on our own lives.  Today I'm writing about my friend Suzy and Teen Pregnancy.

Suzy is a dreamer, not a “dreamer” the way we use the word today, but she has always had the goal of being the first in her family to graduate from college.  She came to this country without knowing a word of Spanish, but she persevered. 

Not only did she learn English, now she wants to teach it.  However, When she  became pregnant in her senior year of high school, all her plans had to be put on hold.  The father of the child wanted nothing to do with marriage.  When it came time to have the baby, Suzy found herself all alone.  Suzy’s mother was a full-time nurse.  Her father was so angry at his daughter, he refused to speak with her.  He certainly wouldn’t support her.  Suzy had no other option but to take matters into her own hands.  Suzy decided to raise her child as a single mother.

Yes, she knew of the hardship and challenge of raising a baby by herself in today’s economy,  but this was Suzy being Suzy.  She still had her dream of becoming an English professor.  Nothing was going to get in her way.  A counselor on the COD campus told her that with her grades, she was eligible for a Pell grant.  With this subsidy, she would be able to raise her child and continue her education.  Although many single mothers may feel trapped in their lives, Suzy saw no obstacle in her way for moving on in her life. She is inspired by the idea of becoming a role model for her daughter.  Every day she wakes up, she wants to be strong for her.

Whatever people think about her decision to go at it as a single mother, she just doesn’t care.  “The look at me from the outside,” she told me, “but they don’t know me.” Suzy doesn’t feel trapped at all with her baby.  No matter what happens, she will always have  her love and dream and vision.  Her baby will be her guiding light.

Broken Dreams? No, Just New Ones!

Below I write about the same "Tuff Stuff" topic.  It's Suzy again.  I've decided to describe her life before her pregnancy.  This might help us understand Suzy as a mother.  Not much change, really.  Her baby has only made her stronger.


Before Suzy became pregnant, we were very close friends. In high school, we used to sit together in the back of the room in all of our classes.  Suzy always used to take the spot next to the window and draw pictures in her notebook.  She was a dreamer. 

She was also a runner.  She was on the cross country team.  She spent a lot of her time in class drawing pictures of running shoes she liked in her notebook.  She was good with the Nike and Puma symbols.  They covered her pages.  Her teachers didn’t seem to mind.  They said she was very talented.  Suzy planned to continue running and drawing in college.  She was going to study art.

When she told me she was pregnant, we both cried.  We both knew she wouldn’t be able to go to college any time soon.  Suzy had to drop out for a while.  I was the one who sat by the window.   While I was able to go to college, Suzy worked to take care of her family.  She has different priorities now.  I miss her.   With our crazy schedules, we don’t see each other very often.  Lately, however, I’ve see she’s running again.  I see her in her Nikes pushing her stroller along the side of the road when I go to school.  She doesn’t look like your typical drop-out.  She looks determined and full of life. It’s just that she has a whole new set of goals.  I always HONK:  “You Go Girl! Nothing can stop you!”

Like a Candle in the Wind: The Death of Marilyn Monroe

In Mr. Lewenstein's class, I'm researching the death of Marilyn Monroe for my "Back to the Future" sixties essay.  Below, I share the summary of a chapter I read in the book Tortured Artists.  We'll never know how things really ended.  The chief suspects for her murder were soon dead themselves.  Goodbye Norma Jeane... 

And it seems to me you lived your life / Like a candle in the wind

In Tortured Artists, we learn the sordid details of Marilyn Monroe’s untimely death.  When she first began living the life a Hollywood legend, she of all people probably knew she would soon become a dead one.   As a famous star, Marilyn lived her life under enormous scrutiny and criticism.  Drugs became an avenue of escape.  

Sadly, she already had a history of mental illness in her family.  The combination of  pressure,  drugs, and  anxiety took her down a dark road for which there was no return.   For example, at the age of four, Marilyn’s mother was placed in an asylum.  Marilyn grew up in an orphanage.  Later she found out her own grandmother had committed suicide.  She must have thought mental illness ran in her genes.  At age thirty six, when she felt herself losing her looks, she intensified her drug use.

   She didn’t know who she was anymore. She didn’t know if she was Norma Jean or Marilyn.  The writer makes little comment about Marilyn’s suicide or murder.  Instead, the writing reinforces the image of Marilyn’s living a life underneath a microscope.  What may have pushed Marilyn to her death just may have been us – a public that didn’t want to see her grow old.